Week 2 Story: The Man in the Moon
The Girl in the Moon:
Savannah had never needed to be the center of attention. She was rather shy, and felt more comfortable on the outskirts of groups. She loved to observe the interactions within her friend group, but was never hesitant to speak her mind when asked. Her two best friends were Katie and Ashley, and although Katie and Ashley were closer, Savannah had always felt at home with them.
As she and her friends grew older, she found herself more and more isolated and sometimes wished she had tried harder to be included. Katie and Ashley had become very popular and were opposite sides to the same coin. For all of Katie's bubbly brightness, Ashley offered a cool darkness, and the pair was inseparable. Savannah found herself incessantly questioning where she fit in now. She wasn't popular, she wasn't outgoing, and she certainly wasn't the polar opposite of either Katie or Ashley. She felt like she had lost the only two friends she'd ever truly had.
"That could have been me, why did they forget me?" she often asked herself exasperatedly. As she arrived home from school one day, she deposited her backpack unceremoniously on the foyer floor and dejectedly laid down on the couch in the living room. She quickly found herself in the most realistic dreamland.
A blue genie with long blonde hair and sparkling purple eyes appeared in front of Savannah suddenly.
"AH!" screeched Savannah, jumping back frantically. What on earth is going on?
"What's wrong? Why are you screaming?" shrieked the blue genie, tripping over herself as she chased after Savannah.
"I- I'm screaming because you're blue!" stuttered Savannah.
"Oh, you get used to it after 13,000 years," said the genie, waving her hand in annoyance and continuing on, "Anyways, I'm your genie, Jean. I've been told you want a different life, yes?"
"You're a real genie, and your name is Jean?" repeated Savannah dumbly, in utter disbelief.
"Yes. Stop stalling. You have 3 wishes, but there are rules. You can't change anyone else's life, you can only change your own, and you can become anything you want to be. If you love the first thing you become, so be it. No need to change a good thing, right? But if you hate the last thing you become, you'll be stuck that way eternally" rambled Jean, as if she had given this spiel a thousand times.
"What do you mean? I can just tell you I want to be something and you'll change me into that thing?" inquired Savannah. This can't be real. What should I even become?
"Sweetie, this is real. I can also read minds. That's how I'll know when to appear and change you again" drawled Jean, looking down her nose at Savannah, "Think on it. You have one minute, and don't forget... Everyone who ever knew you will forget that you ever existed."
Savannah's mind whirled and all thoughts seemed to scatter. She couldn't think of a single thing she wanted to become, other than something as loved as her friends. Even if the genie wouldn't have clarified that nobody would remember her, she didn't think that her friends would've missed her.
"5, 4, 3, 2..." counted Jean, tapping her wrist and looking at Savannah. "What'll it be, girl?" asked Jean, propping her head on her hand.
"A golden retriever!" yelled Savannah, although she was not quite sure why she'd said it at all. A golden retriever is loved by everyone, though, right? At least I'll be noticed this way.
"Alright, sweetheart. Give me a mental shout when you're ready for something different. I give this a day before you realize that you could do so much better than a dog," prophesied Jean, beginning to swirl and ultimately disappearing in a cloud of purple glitter which got all over Savannah's new coat.
Savannah went about her day, but realized that as a dog she had no responsibilities. This is great! I'll go find a human to adopt me and I'll be set for life. No more work or school for me. No way! Just relaxing and enjoying life. Savannah soon realized that being a dog was more boring than she'd expected, and that finding a home wasn't nearly so easy as she'd thought it would be. Within the day Jean had reappeared in front of her.
This time, Savannah opted to become a movie star. She subsequently found that being a movie star was similar to being a dog. Although she had fans and paparazzi chasing her down, she still didn't have any friends. She lasted a week as a movie star before Jean was once again perched in front of her in a new pair of sky-high stilettos.
As Jean was peering down as Savannah, Savannah raised her gaze to meet Jean's eye and instead caught sight of the moon behind her.
"The moon. I want to be the moon. If I'm going to be miserable in every life I choose, I choose to be able to observe everything in creation and watch the lives of the people I love the most from afar," whimpered Savannah. Her heart was so tired of trying to fit in and never feeling like she belonged.
"Hmm. That's a new one. Sure, sweetheart. I can turn you into the moon," murmured Jean.
Instantaneously, Jean disappeared, Savannah began to transform, and Savannah realized she had made a horrible mistake. In all of her self-pity, she had never considered that she might just want to be herself. Being herself was better than any of the alternatives she had tried, and she fiercely missed her friends and family who no longer knew that she existed.
As she took her first breath as the moon, Savannah could've sworn she heard Jean's voice whisper, "You've made your final choice. I hope you enjoy your eternal life of isolation."
Savannah closed her eyes and began to cry, and when she opened them she was back on her couch, her backpack dumped in the foyer.
(Photo by Pixabay)
Author's Note:
I adapted this story from the story, The Man in the Moon. Instead of keeping with the original plot, I changed it a bit and told the story from a very different perspective. I definitely expanded a rather short story into a much longer story, but I felt that the details helped in this instance.
Tricia, awesome story! I liked how you tweeked with the gender and the story but kept the moral of it the same. I also chose this story as well to write about. I kept mine very similar to the plot but did a gender switch. The genie was a very great idea! It fit so well with the limit of wishes and I found myself very involved and drawn into your story. Awesome job! Have an amazing semester and best wishes!
ReplyDeleteHi Tricia!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great adaption from the original story! The level of detail you included kept me engaged throughout. I also enjoyed how much feeling you put into it. I was able to empathize with the character through every step. The genie aspect was very interesting as it created suspense and kept me wondering whether or not she would find what she was looking for. Also, the fact that the whole thing was a dream.. at least that is what I'm interpreting the ending to be, was interesting as well. We all love a good Inception. Great job!
Hey Tricia,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great retelling of the story! The Man in the Moon was one of my favorites from the reading anthology and I really think that you did it justice with this story. Choosing to recast the wise man as Jean the genie was a good call and certainly helps to explain the ability to change the wisher and the reason why the person could only change forms so many times. Modern spins on old stories can be a bit tricky, but I think you handled this well. I think the theme of "be grateful for what you have" translated over really well in this retelling. The only thing that I might say is that I got the sense of a secondary theme from the original story being "don't ask too much from the charity of strangers" and that didn't really seem to be here, but it wasn't really important to the story so really it's irrelevant. Again, great job!
Hi Tricia,
ReplyDeleteYour detail during the dialogue kept me interested throughout the story, ""What's wrong? Why are you screaming?" shrieked the blue genie, tripping over herself as she chased after Savannah." is just one example. I did dialogue in one of my first stories, and your story really showed me how I can improve by providing small details here in there, so thank you for that! Even though you did say it in the beginning, I totally forgot it was a dream and was thrown off at the end when Savannah woke up. I like that you were able to take the original story and make it more modern as well.